I’m convinced that I’m plagued with one of the aforementioned diseases. Two have cures. One does not (probably). Let’s embark on a journey to see if I’m an idiot, if I don’t try hard enough, or if something is wrong with my brain.
Starting with dumbassitis. I could just be behind everyone else academically because my brain does not have the mental capacity to keep up with what’s happening at school. Maybe it’s just a symptom of being called smart too much when I was literally in elementary school. Which by the way NO ONE is smart in elementary school, you’re either good at crafts or you’re not. I got too full of my little third grade self, didn’t realize I wasn’t smart and then, began getting lower grades.
Next, I could just be getting lazy. Maybe I’m too preoccupied with trivial entertainment that barely satiates my need for constant input or my brain will think I’m bored or not being productive, WHICH I”M NOT EITHER WAY. All this social media shit, and tv shows, and whatever the fuck I’m fascinated with in the moment is rotting my brain. It’s tricking my brain into thinking I’m doing something when I’m NOT. IT SUCKS, because then I relly don’t ever get anything productive done. This is a problem I might be able to fix. It really depends on my dedication. Lately I have been seriously lacking in the dedication department, especially regarding school and academics. This is probably happening because I have no motivation. There is nowhere in life I want to go in life, so there is no reason to even try. Laziness… depression… who’s counting?
Lastly, maybe my brain is just too broken to properly learn anything. I have extreme empathy so I’m more emotional and less thinky. I care way too much about what other people are doing and feeling than on what I’m doing, which I think is bad, but I’m not a professional. I also have extreme difficulty remembering things, even important things. Forgetting stuff like why I’m going somewhere is okay now, but in the future, when I’m driving somewhere, and I forget where I’m going or why I’m going, then maybe it’s a problem. I forget to do homework, or then I remember it and it’s too late or I give up because why bother. Yeah that’s a problem. Forgetting to do something is especially bad when it’s something like texting your mom when you get somewhere or that you’ll be late. I’m scared to grow up and just one day forget to blow a candle out or get gas and I’m left with a really big problem. There are many thing I can try but nothing will really matter if my brain is just broken.